MUD

Aaron - Orion UMC

Three days into our rebuilding effort and I have become well acquainted with a new friend, MUD. MUD stands for Multi-Use Demoralizer. It is the glue that binds, or more accurately, conceals our flaws. MUD is actually joint compound, a clay-like substance used to hide gaps between wall board. It's what makes a wall look smooth after days of re-application. However, joint compound is a misnomer, it should be called compound joint pain. Pressing hour after hour to make this slime look smooth, often with your arms raised over head or in positions reminiscent of Cirque de Solei contortionists, tends to make your joints as puttylike as the MUD itself. In its natural moistened state it will cling to your clothes, stick to your skin, and glob over walls in configurations as unique as a snowflake. This, unfortunately, is not the desired goal of MUD mastery. Your aim is a smooth, glassy surface. It becomes ghostly white as it hardens to a crumbly cake. While this cake may allow for ease of sanding to smoothness, who knew that MUD could produce brilliant clouds of white snow? Young men walk away from a day of MUDDING with hair as white as their grandfathers. Old men walk away with a complexion that would make Casper jealous. MUD has many uses in the English language. As a noun, "Why are their globs of MUD all over the floor?" As a verb, "Go MUD that entire room while the rest of us laugh." Or even as a compound sentence substituting for every other word, "Your MUDDER told us that your MUDDING was MUDDLED for an experienced MUDDER." All being said, and after several days of being demoralized in multiple ways, I think I have come to terms with my friend MUD. He means the best, although he sometimes has a funny way of showing it, and he helps me accomplish our goals in this week long rebuilding endeavor in the Louisiana bayou. Well, kind of near the bayou, Billy.